Posts
My heart is heavy with the quietness of my home these days! Many tears have been shed!
It seems like it was just yesterday that I had two little ones under my feet. There was never enough time in a day to get it all done. How often I wished for some quiet time and that my two kids would just get along.
Now, I what I wouldn't do for screaming kids, a messy house and event filled evenings. After 22 years I am basically a empty nester at the age of age 41. This transition has been so hard for me. My first child was born when I was 19 & my second came when I was 22. At an early age I realized that all I ever wanted to be was a Mom. My entire adult life has been about taking care of my family and now no one seems to need me anymore. It is hard to let go and not be needed by two of the most important people in your life. Finding a new path in life is hard. Coming home to an empty house every evening is one of the hardest thing I have ever done.
I could not be more proud of both of my kids. Jessica has graduated from the University of South Carolina and is a RN in the OR at Lexington Hospital. She is the first on my side of the family to graduate from college with a 4 year degree. Justin is going to Midlands Tech for Automotive Technology and works at O'Reilly's. He is doing what he truly loves, working on cars.
One of the things I have done to better myself is to get a college education. Last year I got my Associates in Business and next year I will have my Bachelor's in Business. It has been hard but very rewarding. I am still trying to decide what I want to do once I graduate. I have worked for PepsiCo for 22 years but I am not sure if they have anything to offer.
Have to find something in the evenings to occupy my time. There is so many things that I want to do but for some reason I just don't make an effort to do them. Always wanted to learn how to decorate cakes, take a photography class, volunteer at a nursing home, adopt a child, and the list could go on and on. I am sure that this will pass and I will find my new path.
I found this poem and could relate to it so well:
I didn’t plant these flowers, they are not by my design
I did not know when they would bloom, or that it was their time
These flowers don’t belong to me, but each one is unique
God’s loving hand has molded them and made each one complete
There’s nothing I needed to add to them and nothing to subtract
I only needed to nurture them and keep them on His track
I’ve watered them with love and pulled the weeds of hate
I’d prop them up when they were weak and tried to keep them straight
I’ve fertilized them with faith to keep their roots good and strong
And gently nipped their little leaves when they were growing wrong
These flowers are a gift from God, made with pure love and delight
But it was my job to tend to them with righteousness and might
So keep their heads turned to the skies, their hearts in tune with God
And they will reap eternal life and walk on Heaven’s sod!!!
Tearesa
