Happy New Year

It is the end of another year, 2010 and the time to begin a new one, 2011. 

Not sure what 2011 has in store for me but I know that it will be different than any other.

I hope that my children are blessed and some of their dreams & wishes come true during the year.  I love them both so much. 

May each of my family & friends have a prosperous, happy and blessed 2011.

Happy New Year to you!

May every great new day
Bring you sweet surprises--
A happiness buffet.

Happy New Year to you,
And when the new year’s done,
May the next year be even better,
Full of pleasure, joy and fun.

Tearesa

Dreams

Dreams are a part of life. 

For as long as I can remember I always dreamed of being a Mom.  When I was a teenager, I didn't dream of college and a career, I dreamed of being a Mom.  I wanted a house full of children, at least 5 and to be a stay at home Mom.  My dream came true on April 21, 1988.  That day was one the happiest days of my life. 

I was so in love the moment I found out I was expecting.  Even though I was in shock because I didn't expect it, I was happy.  After calling my husband I couldn't wait to tell my Mom.  She was the 2nd person to know.  I was so sick during my pregnancy but I loved every minute of it.  My love only grew as the baby started growing and then the fluttering started.  I never knew you could love something so much.

It didn't matter what sex I had but I really wanted a little girl.  I dreamed of dressing her up in all of those pretty little dresses, shoes and so many things that a mommy & daughter would do.  My 2nd dream came true, my first baby was a girl, named Jessica Lynn.  How I loved being a Mom and it was everything and more that I thought it would be.  Another part of my dream came true on March 20, 1991, a beautiful baby boy, Justin Lee.  Unfortunately I didn't get the house full of children but the two I had are loved so very much.

As Jessica grew into a beautiful young woman & Justin into a wonderful young man my dreams for them continued.  All parents want our children to have it better than we did.  I dreamed they would go to college, graduate, get a great job, get married and then I would one day be a Granny just like my Mom.  I wanted them to have an easier life than I did.  However, our dreams do not always come true.  No matter how disappointed in this we are, we still love our children.  My love for my children are indescribable. 

I have learned to let go of my dreams because my dreams are different than what my children's dreams are.  As each of my children experience the ups and downs of life I either celebrate with them or cry along with them.  When they are happy my heart sings and when they hurt, my heart hurts along with them.  Not sure if they understand what a parents love is like.  One day when they experience that love, they will know that parents only do what they think is best even when it doesn't seem like it.  Now that I am older and my kids are grown, my dreams for them are not much different but more realistic. 

My kids were so fortunate because their Granny, my Mom, was able to keep them while I worked. They had such a special relationship with her. Unfortunately she passed away too early in life and did not get to see the wonderful adults they have become. Watching my Mom as a grandparent only added to my dreams. How I wanted to be so much like her when I became a grandparent. As my children got older, that dream only increased. Again, my dreams do not always come true. Not sure if I will ever get the chance to be the Granny that I have dreamed about for years. My children have different dreams than I do. I am learning to not have dreams about certain things these days. These days I just have to settle for what life gives me and accept it for what it is, dreams are only dreams.


I hope that each of my children know that I love them more than life itself.  Sometimes I make mistakes as a parent but everything I have ever done I have done it because I love them so much and I did only what I thought was for the best.  I hope all of their dreams come true even if it is not my dream.

Jessica & Justin I love you more than you will ever know.

Merry Christmas

I absolutely love everything about Christmas.  The beautiful lights, picking out that perfect gift for someone, receiving Christmas cards, writing personal notes on each card I send out, being with family, baking, decorating the entire house, the cold weather and celebrating the birth of Jesus. 

Christmas was also my mothers favorite time of the year.  I miss her through out the year but especially right now.  I guess it has more to do with change and than anything else.  How I loved going to her home to help her decorate, wrap presents, writing Christmas cards and bake cookies.  As time has passed and my kids have gotten older this particular holiday gets tougher.  Jessica has her own life now and this will be the first year that she will not be at home Christmas morning.  It just won't be the same without her here.  I am fortunate because Justin is still at home and I also have Rob along with Sampson (whom I consider another child).  Change is hard and I guess I will have to start new traditions.

One tradition that was started after Mom's passing was having most of my family coming to my house on Christmas day.  I thank each of them for taking time out of this busy day to spend time with me.  They will never know just how much it means to me to have them with me.  This year there will be 19 people at my house and I couldn't be happier.  I am really looking forward to my oldest sister and Dad joining us this year.  The only one missing is my youngest brother, Dino.  Maybe one day he will be able to join us.

I hope that each and everyone of you have a Blessed Christmas. 

Love,
Tearesa

Thanksgiving 2010

On this Thanksgiving Eve evening I am sitting at home alone thinking about all of the things that I am thankful for.

• God - thankful that he has shown me what my faith and belief in him can do.
• Jesus because of him we are forgiven of our sins.
• My husband - I am so thankful that he came into my life.  Can't imagine what it would be like without you.
• My children - I am so thankful that I was chosen to be your mother. 
• My family - I am thankful for those that have chosen to be a part my life.  Family is so important to me and I love you all so much.
• My friends -  I am thankful for the many friends that I have made throughout my 42 years.  Even if I don't see or talk to you often, please know that I am grateful that I can consider you a friend.
• A job - I  am thankful that I have a job and have been with the same company for 22 years.
• Health - So thankful that my immediate family is in good health.  I send daily prayers for those that aren't so fortunate - My Dad, Aunt Jo, Aunt Vi, Aunt Beulah and the many many more that I can't name.
• My baby Sampson - Not sure what I would do without him.  He is always waiting on me at the front door when I come home and keeps me company during my many evenings alone.  How I love this little dog.
• Forgiveness - Thankful that I have found peace with many things in my life.  I have forgiven many that have hurt me and no longer dwell on the past.

Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday for me and it is becoming more so with each passing year.  Since my Mother's passing, my siblings and I don't get together as one big family anymore.  I truly miss those wonderful times together.  Since Rob goes to VA every year to hunt for Thanksgiving me and the kids have always went to a family members for this holiday.  I thank each and everyone of those that have included us, I am so grateful to you for sharing your home with us.  This year will be the most difficult one for one.  For the first time in 22 1/2 years I will not be with either of my children on Thanksgiving day.  Jessica will be working part of the day and then going to her Granny Carolyn's for dinner.  Justin will go hunting in the morning, go eat with his girlfriend's family and then go to his Granny Carolyn's at some point.  My wonderful brother in law, Mike, is coming from Rock Hill to join me in picking up my Dad and driving to my brother Ricky's & adopted sister Francine's home near Charleston for dinner.  I appreciate Ricky and Francine for inviting us, I am grateful to you both for sharing your day with us. 

May each and everyone of you have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving.   Remember to be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with no matter how small it may seem.  There is always someone that does not have it as good as you.

Love,

T-

Christmas Card / Letter

Every year since I have been on my own I have mailed out Christmas Cards every year. About 13 years ago I started doing a Christmas letter to include in the card. It would take me forever to find the perfect card to go that year and to write the past year happenings of all 4 of us. In the beginning they were the cheapest cards I could find because that is all I could afford. Then as things in life got better I started buying ones that I actually liked myself. It was always my tradition to sit down Thanksgiving weekend and start addressing the envelopes and then writing personal notes in each and every card. Last year I think I mailed out about 90 cards.

Not only do I enjoy sending this yearly ritual but I also loved receiving them from friends & family. However, in the past most people have stopped sending them or some have never sent a card. This makes me kind of sad. During the holiday season I have always looked forward to reaching into my mail box to see whose card I would receive, opening them up and reading the card. Truly hate that this holiday tradition is going by the wayside like so many other things.

Now that my kids are grown and have their own lives, I think it is time to end the Christmas letter. Not sure yet because I have already started on this year’s Just not sure if I will actually send it out. Have even thought about stopping the Christmas card tradition that I have been doing for 20+ years. I know this is wrong but why should I go through the time and expense of it when some many can't make the same effort.

So I will end this by saying that if you do not receive a Christmas card or letter from me this year, don't take it personal but it just seems to be a waste anymore. May each and every one that reads my blog have a Blessed Christmas and Happy New Year.

Love,

T

Pictures

For as long as I can remember I have loved to take pictures.  I have 1000's of them.  If you really know me, you know that I always have a camera with me.   I take pictures of everything.  Taking pictures are a way for me to capture a memory.  One day I hope to take a photography class so I can learn how to take professional pictures. 

Every time a box comes in the mail, Rob asks what kind of camera, scanner or thingy did you buy now.   He knows me so well.   A new camera to me is like getting a present on Christmas morning.  I can't wait to open it and try it out. 

About a year ago I started scanning all of my photos, my mother's old photos, & her slides.  Just this past weekend I scanned over 500 photos.  It is allot of work but I am really enjoying it.  Are you like most people and take pictures, put them on the computer and forget about them?  Not me, I am always pulling out my photo albums and my digital photos.  

I even took lots of pictures when 35mm film was popular and have 1000's of 35mm pictures.  This project is giving me a chance to look back at some wonderful events in my life.  There is the wonderful memories of my Mom, Christmas mornings, weddings, my family when we actually use to be one, my children at many different stages of their life, and I could go on & on.  

Hoping my project will one day be able to be shared with my family members so they to can go back and remember the wonderful times in their lives.

Tearesa 

Lazy Day!!!

Don't you enjoy those days when you can stay in your PJ's all day long and do absolutely nothing but watch TV and nap. 

I don't get to do it often but when I do I enjoy it so much.  Sometimes I just say I have had enough, I won't do laundry, cook or clean anything for one entire day.  When I do get this joyous day it is usually on a Sunday and during hunting season when everyone is gone for the entire weekend.

Today is one of these days and I am enjoying it so much.  However, tomorrow means I will be a little busier than normal because I will have to do everything that I didn't do today but it is so worth it.

I hope that each of get one of these days once in awhile.

Tearesa