This week I made the decision to put my total faith in GOD. As my previous post stated I am such a worrier and stress over everything. It has only been a few days and so far he has been working his miracles in my life. Cannot wait to see all the amazing things that he has in store for me and my family this year and the future.
Since I know I need help in the area of worrying and stress I bought the book Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. So looking forward to reading this book. I know her words will guide me in being successful in this difficult change.
God is so awesome!
Blessing to all....
T-
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Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Worries....
I am a worrier. It is just a part of me. This is one of the area's of my life that I have struggled with most of my life. For as long as I can remember I have worried about everything, no matter how big or small. I have family that tell me if you can't control it, don't worry about it. How I wish it was so simple for me. My Dad, sister and son can handle stress and life struggles so care free. Why didn't I inherit this trait from my Dad? With age it has gotten somewhat better but I still struggle with this everyday.
The last year and half (especially the last 8 months) have been some of the most difficult times of my life. The struggle of dealing with this issue/problem has impacted so much of my everyday life. I feel that I have gradually become a different person. Somehow I manage to go about doing what I have to because I have no choice. Not sure how I do it but I make myself go to work, school, complete housework and whatever is required of me everyday. However, I would love to just crawl into a dark space and forget about everything.
My husband has been so supportive during this trying time. He is my rock & I just cannot imagine what I would do without him. As I have said so many times, God gave me such a gift when he allowed Rob to cross my path so many years ago. I am the lucky one in this marriage.
I don't set new year resolutions but I have been setting personal goals (see previous post). One of my goals for this year is to try to put my worries onto God's shoulders and to let him be in control of my life. I know this is going to be difficult but I am determined to make this work. I am hoping that with God's help I can learn not to worry or stress so much. Me & Rob are looking for a church that we can become a member of so that we can start living our life the way we know we are supposed to. I know that 2011 is only going to get better and this major issue/problem will be worked out as it is supposed to because I have faith in God.
Much love,
Tea---
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
The last year and half (especially the last 8 months) have been some of the most difficult times of my life. The struggle of dealing with this issue/problem has impacted so much of my everyday life. I feel that I have gradually become a different person. Somehow I manage to go about doing what I have to because I have no choice. Not sure how I do it but I make myself go to work, school, complete housework and whatever is required of me everyday. However, I would love to just crawl into a dark space and forget about everything.
My husband has been so supportive during this trying time. He is my rock & I just cannot imagine what I would do without him. As I have said so many times, God gave me such a gift when he allowed Rob to cross my path so many years ago. I am the lucky one in this marriage.
I don't set new year resolutions but I have been setting personal goals (see previous post). One of my goals for this year is to try to put my worries onto God's shoulders and to let him be in control of my life. I know this is going to be difficult but I am determined to make this work. I am hoping that with God's help I can learn not to worry or stress so much. Me & Rob are looking for a church that we can become a member of so that we can start living our life the way we know we are supposed to. I know that 2011 is only going to get better and this major issue/problem will be worked out as it is supposed to because I have faith in God.
Much love,
Tea---
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Personal Goals
For the past year or so I have been working on some personal goals. So far I have accomplished or started a few on the list and hoping that within the next year I will be able to mark at least few more off.
Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Tearesa
- Finish my Associates of Science in Business Administration - Completed in 5/2009
- Complete a Bachelors of Science in Business Administration - Should be complete in 5/11 or 12/11
- Get braces - Should be off by 5/2011
- Lose 75 lbs - Hoping to get this started this year
- Work on my relationship with my daughter
- Find a home church for my family
- Try to be more positive
- Don't worry about things I cannot control
- Live my life more like a Christian
- Read the Bible on a daily basis
- Get better organized in my home
- Update our home - This has been started but it is an ongoing job
- Try to be a better person, wife, mother, sister & friend
Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Tearesa
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Year
It is the end of another year, 2010 and the time to begin a new one, 2011.
Not sure what 2011 has in store for me but I know that it will be different than any other.
I hope that my children are blessed and some of their dreams & wishes come true during the year. I love them both so much.
May each of my family & friends have a prosperous, happy and blessed 2011.
Happy New Year to you!
May every great new day
Bring you sweet surprises--
A happiness buffet.
Happy New Year to you,
And when the new year’s done,
May the next year be even better,
Full of pleasure, joy and fun.
Tearesa
Monday, December 27, 2010
Dreams
Dreams are a part of life.
For as long as I can remember I always dreamed of being a Mom. When I was a teenager, I didn't dream of college and a career, I dreamed of being a Mom. I wanted a house full of children, at least 5 and to be a stay at home Mom. My dream came true on April 21, 1988. That day was one the happiest days of my life.
I was so in love the moment I found out I was expecting. Even though I was in shock because I didn't expect it, I was happy. After calling my husband I couldn't wait to tell my Mom. She was the 2nd person to know. I was so sick during my pregnancy but I loved every minute of it. My love only grew as the baby started growing and then the fluttering started. I never knew you could love something so much.
It didn't matter what sex I had but I really wanted a little girl. I dreamed of dressing her up in all of those pretty little dresses, shoes and so many things that a mommy & daughter would do. My 2nd dream came true, my first baby was a girl, named Jessica Lynn. How I loved being a Mom and it was everything and more that I thought it would be. Another part of my dream came true on March 20, 1991, a beautiful baby boy, Justin Lee. Unfortunately I didn't get the house full of children but the two I had are loved so very much.
As Jessica grew into a beautiful young woman & Justin into a wonderful young man my dreams for them continued. All parents want our children to have it better than we did. I dreamed they would go to college, graduate, get a great job, get married and then I would one day be a Granny just like my Mom. I wanted them to have an easier life than I did. However, our dreams do not always come true. No matter how disappointed in this we are, we still love our children. My love for my children are indescribable.
I have learned to let go of my dreams because my dreams are different than what my children's dreams are. As each of my children experience the ups and downs of life I either celebrate with them or cry along with them. When they are happy my heart sings and when they hurt, my heart hurts along with them. Not sure if they understand what a parents love is like. One day when they experience that love, they will know that parents only do what they think is best even when it doesn't seem like it. Now that I am older and my kids are grown, my dreams for them are not much different but more realistic.
My kids were so fortunate because their Granny, my Mom, was able to keep them while I worked. They had such a special relationship with her. Unfortunately she passed away too early in life and did not get to see the wonderful adults they have become. Watching my Mom as a grandparent only added to my dreams. How I wanted to be so much like her when I became a grandparent. As my children got older, that dream only increased. Again, my dreams do not always come true. Not sure if I will ever get the chance to be the Granny that I have dreamed about for years. My children have different dreams than I do. I am learning to not have dreams about certain things these days. These days I just have to settle for what life gives me and accept it for what it is, dreams are only dreams.
I hope that each of my children know that I love them more than life itself. Sometimes I make mistakes as a parent but everything I have ever done I have done it because I love them so much and I did only what I thought was for the best. I hope all of their dreams come true even if it is not my dream.
Jessica & Justin I love you more than you will ever know.
For as long as I can remember I always dreamed of being a Mom. When I was a teenager, I didn't dream of college and a career, I dreamed of being a Mom. I wanted a house full of children, at least 5 and to be a stay at home Mom. My dream came true on April 21, 1988. That day was one the happiest days of my life.
I was so in love the moment I found out I was expecting. Even though I was in shock because I didn't expect it, I was happy. After calling my husband I couldn't wait to tell my Mom. She was the 2nd person to know. I was so sick during my pregnancy but I loved every minute of it. My love only grew as the baby started growing and then the fluttering started. I never knew you could love something so much.
It didn't matter what sex I had but I really wanted a little girl. I dreamed of dressing her up in all of those pretty little dresses, shoes and so many things that a mommy & daughter would do. My 2nd dream came true, my first baby was a girl, named Jessica Lynn. How I loved being a Mom and it was everything and more that I thought it would be. Another part of my dream came true on March 20, 1991, a beautiful baby boy, Justin Lee. Unfortunately I didn't get the house full of children but the two I had are loved so very much.
As Jessica grew into a beautiful young woman & Justin into a wonderful young man my dreams for them continued. All parents want our children to have it better than we did. I dreamed they would go to college, graduate, get a great job, get married and then I would one day be a Granny just like my Mom. I wanted them to have an easier life than I did. However, our dreams do not always come true. No matter how disappointed in this we are, we still love our children. My love for my children are indescribable.
I have learned to let go of my dreams because my dreams are different than what my children's dreams are. As each of my children experience the ups and downs of life I either celebrate with them or cry along with them. When they are happy my heart sings and when they hurt, my heart hurts along with them. Not sure if they understand what a parents love is like. One day when they experience that love, they will know that parents only do what they think is best even when it doesn't seem like it. Now that I am older and my kids are grown, my dreams for them are not much different but more realistic.
My kids were so fortunate because their Granny, my Mom, was able to keep them while I worked. They had such a special relationship with her. Unfortunately she passed away too early in life and did not get to see the wonderful adults they have become. Watching my Mom as a grandparent only added to my dreams. How I wanted to be so much like her when I became a grandparent. As my children got older, that dream only increased. Again, my dreams do not always come true. Not sure if I will ever get the chance to be the Granny that I have dreamed about for years. My children have different dreams than I do. I am learning to not have dreams about certain things these days. These days I just have to settle for what life gives me and accept it for what it is, dreams are only dreams.
I hope that each of my children know that I love them more than life itself. Sometimes I make mistakes as a parent but everything I have ever done I have done it because I love them so much and I did only what I thought was for the best. I hope all of their dreams come true even if it is not my dream.
Jessica & Justin I love you more than you will ever know.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Merry Christmas
I absolutely love everything about Christmas. The beautiful lights, picking out that perfect gift for someone, receiving Christmas cards, writing personal notes on each card I send out, being with family, baking, decorating the entire house, the cold weather and celebrating the birth of Jesus.
Christmas was also my mothers favorite time of the year. I miss her through out the year but especially right now. I guess it has more to do with change and than anything else. How I loved going to her home to help her decorate, wrap presents, writing Christmas cards and bake cookies. As time has passed and my kids have gotten older this particular holiday gets tougher. Jessica has her own life now and this will be the first year that she will not be at home Christmas morning. It just won't be the same without her here. I am fortunate because Justin is still at home and I also have Rob along with Sampson (whom I consider another child). Change is hard and I guess I will have to start new traditions.
One tradition that was started after Mom's passing was having most of my family coming to my house on Christmas day. I thank each of them for taking time out of this busy day to spend time with me. They will never know just how much it means to me to have them with me. This year there will be 19 people at my house and I couldn't be happier. I am really looking forward to my oldest sister and Dad joining us this year. The only one missing is my youngest brother, Dino. Maybe one day he will be able to join us.
I hope that each and everyone of you have a Blessed Christmas.
Love,
Tearesa
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving 2010
On this Thanksgiving Eve evening I am sitting at home alone thinking about all of the things that I am thankful for.
- God - thankful that he has shown me what my faith and belief in him can do.
- Jesus because of him we are forgiven of our sins.
- My husband - I am so thankful that he came into my life. Can't imagine what it would be like without you.
- My children - I am so thankful that I was chosen to be your mother.
- My family - I am thankful for those that have chosen to be a part my life. Family is so important to me and I love you all so much.
- My friends - I am thankful for the many friends that I have made throughout my 42 years. Even if I don't see or talk to you often, please know that I am grateful that I can consider you a friend.
- A job - I am thankful that I have a job and have been with the same company for 22 years.
- Health - So thankful that my immediate family is in good health. I send daily prayers for those that aren't so fortunate - My Dad, Aunt Jo, Aunt Vi, Aunt Beulah and the many many more that I can't name.
- My baby Sampson - Not sure what I would do without him. He is always waiting on me at the front door when I come home and keeps me company during my many evenings alone. How I love this little dog.
- Forgiveness - Thankful that I have found peace with many things in my life. I have forgiven many that have hurt me and no longer dwell on the past.
Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday for me and it is becoming more so with each passing year. Since my Mother's passing, my siblings and I don't get together as one big family anymore. I truly miss those wonderful times together. Since Rob goes to VA every year to hunt for Thanksgiving me and the kids have always went to a family members for this holiday. I thank each and everyone of those that have included us, I am so grateful to you for sharing your home with us. This year will be the most difficult one for one. For the first time in 22 1/2 years I will not be with either of my children on Thanksgiving day. Jessica will be working part of the day and then going to her Granny Carolyn's for dinner. Justin will go hunting in the morning, go eat with his girlfriend's family and then go to his Granny Carolyn's at some point. My wonderful brother in law, Mike, is coming from Rock Hill to join me in picking up my Dad and driving to my brother Ricky's & adopted sister Francine's home near Charleston for dinner. I appreciate Ricky and Francine for inviting us, I am grateful to you both for sharing your day with us.
May each and everyone of you have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. Remember to be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with no matter how small it may seem. There is always someone that does not have it as good as you.
Love,
T-
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